I began this post in early January. Along the way I got distracted by my search into the family genealogy. I continue with the family research. I have spent more time on the paternal side than the maternal side. The reason for the preference was the accessibility of information on the maternal side. I will devote a separate post on the family tree.
In psychology, when we refer to the nuclear family and we refer to the immediate family, mother, father and children. The extension of that is the grandparents. Beyond that is the extended family. This post focuses on the nuclear family.
My grandfather, with his three children from his first marriage - My aunt Bea was the oldest (1916), my aunt Jesusita (1920), and my father (1922). There were two other children, Fidel, born between 1916 and 1920, died at a young age. I have not found information on him, yet. Another sister was born in 1924. I also do not have any information on her. I did not know she existed until recently. I believe this picture was taken around 1938
Paternal grandmother - Estefana
My paternal grandmother, Estefana. She was born in 1895 and married at the age of 20 in 1915. She had at least 5 siblings. By the time of her death, her father had already passed. She died in 1925 at the age of 30. I recently discovered her death information and the cause is listed as "internal tumor." My father was almost 3 and my aunt Bea was 9. I have come to believe that her death affected my aunt's life more than any thing else. At my aunt's funeral, I heard that my grandfather may have been verbally and maybe physically abusive to his children. It could be that my grandmother served as protector. When my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried and the step-mother added another dose of hurt. The kids were sent to live with relatives. In these homes they were an extra burden, something to put up with. My aunt's personality may have been molded by these experiences. She heard, "This is not your house." "You cannot just sit anywhere." "You are lazy if you take a nap." "You are in the way." My aunt continued to hear these mental tapes to the day she died. The three children eventually found a house and moved in together. They did not have contact with my grandfather for a long time.
Paternal grandfather: Feliciano
He was born in 1894 and married Estefana in 1915. There is much I don't know about him. I know that he had 3 brothers and that each of the brothers had at least 10 children. I know that he and the brothers had a business similar to a mom and pop neighborhood store in Matehuala, Mexico. I heard that the brothers had a falling out with the business and my grandfather was outside the loop. As I find information about the family, I begin to piece together a scenario that may or may not be true. Here is what I know. He has a daughter in 1924, a year before his wife dies. That same year a son is born from another woman. This otrher woman becomes the step-mother when his wife dies. I knew this child because my father and he were close and related to each other as step-brothers.
For many years, he was "persona non-grata" with his children from his first wife. (I have not found evidence that he married his second woman or if he had more children with her.) My grandfather lived in Weslaco for a short while before his death. He also lived with my aunts in Monterrey. That is where he died in 1970.
Tia Bea (Beatriz Vidales)
I know more about this aunt because she spent much time in the U.S., sometimes living with us in Weslaco. I would also spend time with her when I visited them in Monterrey.
My tia Bea could read and write in Spanish, but may not have had any formal schooling. She worked as a domestic in Monterrey, Mexico. She also did some factory work. When the three brothers got their own house, she and my other aunt started a business at home, literally. It was an early version of the 7-11. An opening was cut into the side of their house and they sold an sundry of goods to the neighborhood. Remember that large grocery stores or convenience store chains were unknown in Mexico neighborhoods. Refrigerators and TVs were rare in the 50s. With my father's help from the U.S., my aunts were one of the first to have a fridge and TV.
My brothers and I were always amused at the idea that someone would come to the window with a coffee cup from home and ask for 2 ice cubes. Another customer wanted 1 cigarette. Because there was no refrigeration at home, there was a run to the closest store for sodas, candy, eggs, and other consumables,
for every meal. Being the entrepreneurs that they were and having the way to do it, my aunts started charging the kids to come and watch cartoons in their living room. While they were there, they sold them kool-ade flavored ice cubes and candy. In the evening, the adults would come in to watch the latest Novelas (soaps). The adults were also willing customers for snacks while they watched the TV.
At the funeral home, we were asked about my aunt's occupation. The first word out of my mouth were "smuggler." I later changed it to "import/export." Unlike my Tia Bea, my aunt Jesusita was not interested in coming to the U.S. and she remained in charge of the neighborhood store. My aunt Bea started another retail business. At her house she had catalogs from Sears, JCPenney, and Montgomery Wards and she sold Avon products. Apparently Mexican Avon was not of the same quality.
Her customers would stop by and flip through these catalogs and place their orders: 3 bras - one black, and two flesh color; a tennis racket; a girls jacket and a men's jacket, with snaps not zippers; men's khaki pants with pleats in blue and black. The lists were endless. My aunt would then buy all of these items and think of a way to get them to her customers, while trying to avoid customs inspectors in need of bribes. She was inventive. Avon would go nicely in grocery packaging. For example, stuffing products into a half-empty box of corn flakes. She would also wear multiple jackets and sweaters past the customs inspectors. If the items were the wrong color or size, the process started all over again, but the price for the item went up. If she had to bribe some official, the price of the item went up.
She made a good living for many years, but worked hard to do it. As the retail business changed, as the population began to acquire refrigerators and modern conveniences, and as she got older, her shopping trips became fewer. The business at their home store also diminished as the neighborhood modernized..
Cristobal Vidales
My father, Cristobal, was born in 1922. I think his mind-set after the death of his mother and his life with relatives may have taken the opposite direction from my aunt Bea. He was a self-made, self-educated man. In Mexico his education was up to the 2nd grade. He worked in many factories and occupations. He came to the US in 1944-45 and tried to enlist in the army. He was rejected for medical reasons. He taught himself English and was a voracious reader and was very inquisitive. He became a U.S. citizen as soon as he was able to. I think his life was different from his sisters because he was in the U.S.
Harlingen AFB
The earliest occupation I remember is as a painter at the local Air Force Base, now long defunct. More about the base at
http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/qbh01
One other interesting item about the base is the Iwo Jima Monument (the original). Read more about it on the following:
http://www.texasbob.com/travel/tbt_iwo_jima.html
After painting stars and stripes on planes and who knows what else at the base, my father continued painting as a profession. He was a paint contractor, working residential and commercial jobs, small and large. The largest I remember was a motel job. That was the one and only job of that size. My older brother and I were enlisted to help on many of the jobs. We would do some sanding or touch-up painting. I do not remember doing any real painting on walls. My father's paint contractor truck in 1965.
Restauranteur
The other occupation was Restaurant Owner. He started a small restaurant, Mexican food of course, on Weslaco's main street. This business grew into a larger establishment and another location years later. The restaurant could actually boast "home cooking," because most of the food was made at home and taken over. Our house was/ is 2 blocks away.
The item cooked at the restaurant were hamburgers, breakfasts, and sandwiches. The "caldo" and "menudo" and the taco meats were cooked at home and kept on a steam table. Again my brother and I were enlisted to be waiters, busboys, dishwashers, sweepers, etc. As always, nothing came before school and school related activities. The restaurants were successful. The last one would open for breakfast and on Friday and Saturday close at 2 a.m. The late closing provided the drunks and the barmaids a place to eat after the beer joints closed. On many weekends the restaurant would close because we would run out of food. In the end the restaurant business closed because of the long hours and the increased business at the grocery store.
Neighborhood Grocery
Vidales Grocery was in existence as long as I can remember. In the picture below I may have been 3 or 4 years. The picture was taken right behind the store. Cases of empty soft drink bottles can be seen in the background. This business co-existed with the restaurant for many years.
In the beginning the store was a snack stop - soft drinks, candy, cigarettes, snow cones. The success of the store was due in part to the location. There was an elementary school and the Methodist church on the east side. On the west side of our property was the Catholic school and church. There was foot traffic 7 days a week. My father's had the dedication to the business and the willingness to try new ways to make the business strive. My father worked at the Harlingen AFB when he had this small business.
The store increased in size and scope. The larger building was more of a true grocery store. Besides the ever-present snack options, the store now included canned goods, spices, cake mixes, etc. This was a time when there were no large grocery store chains. There were larger stores in town but these neighborhood stores were close and convenient for the loaf of bread or package of tortillas. The other attraction for the neighborhood customer was that our store as well as others in the area, offered credit to regular customers. This may have been in the early days of "charge it!" We had a competitor one block away and another two blocks away. Somehow we all made a go of it. During this time, my father ended his work at the Harlingen AFB, but had the restaurant. When my father closed the restaurant, he continues with the store and the paint contracting, with my mother running the store.
My parents and my two youngest brothers in 1961 in front of the store
In its last incarnation, the Vidales Grocery Store returned to its origins. As the larger grocery chains moved in, it was harder to compete. The grocery business fell. My father focused on the snack and fast-food items. He developed his own chili recipe for the chili dogs. Foot-long hot dogs, hamburgers, tacos, fries, snow cones, became the mainstay. The restaurant and the paint contracting business were long gone. We continued to benefit from the location. The Catholic church had a thriving business renting it hall for bingo, dances, parties, etc. Where there is a crowd, there is someone who wants to eat or drink something. We were glad to provide. It was during this point in their lives that my parents travelled the globe, two or three weeks a year. The picture below is the store in its last stage. My father is in the picture, but the date is unknown.
The store is very different from the previous image in 1961. The cement step replaced the original front of the store. The bench in the previous picture has been replaced by the ice machine.
My father was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas and lived only a short time after the diagnosis. He died on March 5, 1981.
Tia Jesusita (Maria de Jesus Vidales)
I know the least about Tia Jesusita. The only time I know that she came to the U.S. was when my father died. She had no interest. My father had bought some property with a small house for both of my aunts, but because Tia Jesusita did not want to, Tia Bea "had to" stay in Monterrey also.
My only contact with this Tia is when I went to visit them in Monterrey. Like my Tia Bea, she never married. I don't think that my aunts had a very good relationship as sisters. Each had their own interests and did not ask the other about these.
Tia Jesusita was in chrage of the small store in their house. I know this because all of the health permits, year after year, were in her name. She almost had to be in charge of that business by default, as my Tia Bea was always travelling back and forth on her catalog/ smuggling business. One of her daily chores was to go to the "mercado" and buy stuff. The mercado is an open-air or semi-enclosed market that would put Walmart to shame when it came to quantity and variety. One can find fruits, vegetables, candies, caged birds, pottery, clothing, restaurants, and much more at the mercado. The trips to the mercado were for things to sell at the store or food items for the house. Remember that the fridge was not always there. Daily trips for fresh produce or meats was a necessity.
Besides her trips to the mercado, I remember Tia Jesusita getting water and ice. Their house in Monterrey was half-way up a hill in the colonia. Water was not piped up the hill until the late 50s. We needed water for cooking, drinking, cleaning, and bathing. Using 5 gallon tin cans and a 4-wheeled cart with steel ball-bearing wheels, my aunt, or anyone she could enlist, would go to the bottom of the street with the empty cans and struggle back with the water. The same happened with the ice. Ice was needed to coll the soft drink bottles and the beer bottles. This was before refrigeration came into the house. I don't remember how much those huge blocks of ice weighed, but they were heavy. We needed to cover them with burlap sacks to keep them from melting. Although getting the water and the ice was a chore, it was fun going down the hill on that cart. Imagin afour-foot square base, a crude axel in the front, four wheels, and a rope for steering - no brakes. The only problem we faced was at intersections. If there was a car coming we had to crash into the curb. Ah, the good old days.
My Mother - Socorro
(Wedding pix from 1945)
My mother was an only child. My mother's side of the family had small families. My grandfather had2 other siblings and my grandmother had 3 other siblings. My mother was born in Weslaco in 1928. Her education was through the 8th grade. My father came from Mexico and swept her off her feet. It may have been love at first sight. Although she was an only child, she grew up with two cousins that considered themselves brothers.
The woman in the picture below is a cousin from my granmother's side of the family and the sailor is a cousin from my grandfather's side of the family. He was a WWII vet who recently passed away. She lives in Chicago and is in her mid 80s.
My mother was responsible for the running of the grocery store and the restaurant, for the most part. She paid all the bills, ordered all of the goods, paid the taxes, etc. Although my father ran the restaurant's day-to-day, he would have little to do without the food to cook. My mother spent countless hours minding the store. This was also one of our chores, mind the store.
My mother was involved with our school activities, more than my dad, because of his work schedule. She would bake and make sandwhiches for the fundraisers and attend school meetings. All of this and responsible for the five children:
Frank (oldest)
Mary (#3)
Cris, Jr. (#4)
Art (#5)
Yours truly. (#2)
My mother had a fulll life. Because of my father's affiliation with lodges, organizations, and the chamber of commerce, there were many banquets to host and attend. Her life was also full of adventure through travel. She and my father would take 2-3 week trips every year, after we had all graduated high school. The only continent they did not visit was Australia.
Spain
Athens
Brazil
Venice
She took my father's death very hard. She, however, continued to run the store until she could not anymore. Because we were all grown and away from the house, she was in the store until all hours, at risk of being robbed. Once, new year's eve, 2 thieves came to the store. One stood watch and the other pulled a gun and demanded the cash. My mother grabbed the gunman's wrist and began a struggle for the gun. Luckily another customer approached and they fled. She then grabbs her handgun and chases after. This was the beginning of the end.
My mother fell in the house and broke her leg in several places. I have yet to understand the circumstances of that fall. She had surgery to fix the broken leg, but then had to go to a rehab center until she could manage by herself. She was making progress toward a return to the house when she developed a kidney and blood stream infection that she did not survive. She died March 1, 2003. She was 75.
Maternal Grandparents
Eulalio and Romana Delgado
Married 1925
My grandfather with my mother on his lap. My grandmother going to town.
My grandparents came to teh U.S. from Mexico in the early 1900s. He was born in 1901 and she in 1903. Their education is unknown but I would guess very little. Although both were literate in Spanish, he learned more English than she.
I don't know how they met or where, but I know that they lived about 8 miles apart. He lived in Donna, and she in Mercedes. Midway between the two town was the future site of what is now the city of Weslaco. Weslaco was founded in 1919 and he was working on clearing the lots for sale. After the town was established he worked at the ice-making plant. She was a housekeeper, but also worked outside the house at the canning plant close to the house. (My grandfather lugging a block of ice. I hope he is notloading it unto that ford.)
In his later work life he was a machinist and maintained factory boilers and equipment. My grandmother also helped out at the family grocery store. She was also involved with the cooking for the restaurant.
My grandfather's mother, my greatgrandmother lived with us for a short time until her death on August 11, 1952.
My grandfather was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and kidney failure. He died on March 7th, 1976 and my grandmother died on March 5th, 1976. We had a double funeral and burial.
This concludes this edition of the nuclear family. Separate posts will focus on different aspects of the family.
. I find these tranquil places and am moved to linger a while longer. However, I know that my stay in New York is brief and there is much more to see.
. I find these tranquil places and am moved to linger a while longer. However, I know that my stay in New York is brief and there is much more to see.
