Time

        Time is of the essence. A stitch in time saves nine.
    
 Someone commented on my Facebook page, "Hey, what's up? You should have more activity on this site. Why have you not tidied up your page? Now that you are retied, you have all the time to do this." Although the quote is not exact, it is close.

        Time flies. Time heals all wounds. Time....

What it is
Before I retired, I did think that I would have a different relationship with time when I did not have to report for work. However, I did not know how my time would be consumed in the care of my aunt. Lately I have begun to value MY time more, because I seem to have less.

My aunt has a care provider four or five hours a day, seven days a week. These workers are here either at 8 or 9 am. Their primary duty is to get her up, bathe her, fix breakfast, and clean her room. Lately washing of linens has become a daily occurrence. I would like to think that when these workers are in the house, that I am free to do what I want.

However, when I am away from the house, I am constantly looking at the time, because I need to be back before the provider leaves. On the day of a doctor's appointment, I can be assured that I will surrender 2 or 3 hours at the doctor's office. On the day of an in-house visit of one kind or another, I cannot leave until after the visit. In the last three weeks, my aunt has needed would care for a heel sore. Although initially the wound was being cared for by a visiting nurse, the responsibility was passed on to the family, me. This new task delayed my departure from the house until after 10 a.m.

My Time:
          Going to the movies happens when the movie I want to see has an 11 a.m. showing. This will get me back home in time. On Sunday I have breakfast at Denny's, at 6 a.m. After, I go to the grocery store or WalMart to shop or browse casually. I have to be back by 8 when the provider arrives. The weekend person does not test blood sugar levels. Today I was finishing my breakfast at Denny's when the provider calls to tell me she is outside the house. I tell her that I am out of the house and that she is 1 hour early. She did not set her clocks and did not know about the time change. I have to get back to let her in.
            I also get MY Time when my sister or my niece cover for me. I went to a football game, just until half-time. I met with some friends for dinner, until 7:30 p.m. I went to see the marching band competition, until 10 p.m. My time is limited.
            I used to enjoy a glass or two of wine while reading a suspense paperback. In the not too distant past, I could sit outside and leave my aunt by herself and not worry about her. In her state, I may be sitting just outside the kitchen and she is there having her afternoon coffee, but I am not relaxed. I seem to be checking to see if she has gotten up and at the stove trying to cook. The other danger is her falling because she wants to go from here to there and leaves the walker behind.

 Respite time/ MY Time
         One of my aunt's benefits is respite care. There is an allotment of time available for her caregiver to take a break. The agency will pay for others to come and take over "my shift." This coming weekend I will take Thursday afternoon to Tuesday noon and be away from the house. This time away is not easy to arrange. The regular care providers can be here more time than their normal shifts and get paid for it. My sister and my niece will cover any of the holes in time. The schedule must be submitted two weeks in advance and approved. I am looking forward to Thursday.

Running out of time
        I fear that my aunt is running out of time here at the house. My sister and I had commented that when she needed 24/7 care and we could not provide it, that she would go into a nursing home. My aunt needs 24/7 attention. She does not know what day or month it is. She has delusions and hallucinations at times. At times she does not know who I am. She continues to have the mini-strokes (Transient Ischemic Attacks). She refuses to ask for help with anything - getting out of bed, a glass of water, help to the bathroom, putting on her shoes. She at times does not recognize her body's messages about body functions.  When she is lucid she can be argumentative and stubborn, not realizing that her physical condition is that of a 94 year old.
        Caring for her is tiring and I accept that. However, caring for her has become a struggle because of her dementia. She will say, "I think I want to go to my room." I get up to help her up and going. She questions and refuses to go to her room because it is too early. I tell her that she just said what she did. I go back to what I was doing and 5 minutes later she is up and on her way to the room.         I help her up from her recliner and she does not remember if she was getting up or sitting down.  She will argue that she has not had dinner. I try to remind her of that fact. She will then ask me to show her what she had.  The act of helping is in itself not a struggle, dealing with a brain that does not know one minute to the next is a struggle.

My choice
    I had a choice and and I decided to come back to the Rio Grande Valley. I know that while I was in Washington, my family struggled with my aunt's condition. However, that condition has deteriorated since I saw her last summer. As she continues to deteriorate, it will be my decisions that impact the remaining time she has. In psychology one of the dominant approaches to therapy is that of choices and consequences. This has become a part of me. I may regret a choice but I don't dwell on it and I accept the consequences. I am a point where I need to choose for my own well-being. I need to make a choice that does not diminish the care that my aunt receives, and that is beneficial to my existence.

Joe

High School Football

Yes, it is that time of the year again, "Friday Night Lights." Except, today's high school football is different from that of yesteryear. I went to a high school football game last week, primarily to see the band at half-time. I was excited as I walked the quarter mile from where I parked. I could hear the snare drums and the pep squad. The Star-Spangled Banner played as I neared the stadium. Everyone was decked in some sort of purple and white, the Weslaco school colors. I had on the only purple shirt I had, one from the University of Washington, with a small Huskie on the front. From a distance it may have resembled a Panther.

The stadium was not full, as the opponent, Brownsville Lopez, is a relatively new school and not a football power. Further evidence of the visiting team's weakness was the small crowd in the visitors' bleachers. It all seemed as I remembered. However, I soon became aware of how this game was different.

Back in the day when I was in high school, there were eight cheerleaders. They actually led the fan and pep squad cheers, with their pom-poms and megaphones. ( I am still looking for the yearbook to show you pictures.) Now there were 20 varsity cheerleaders, including four males. I cannot imagine having male cheerleaders in the 60s. They would not have survived the season. In addition, there were 20 Jr. Varsity cheerleaders and a covy of littler ones from elementary schools. The cheerleaders had chants and cheers, but I could not hear the crowd, students cheering along. The cheerleaders spent time tumbling, being raised on another's shoulders and posing. I don't know how that can promote a cheer from the crowd.

The stadium is a newer more modern than the one I remembered. Capacity is a big difference. This one has a capacity of up to 15,000 - home side, visitor side, and end-zone additional bleachers. The score board is a far cry from the one in the past. This one has a video screen. Every play is replayed. There are sponsors for first downs, and touchdowns. When the home team scores, we see the replay and then a picture of doctor so-and-so, the touchdown sponsor. What would a viseo screen be without advertisements - Sonic, WalMart, etc.

The other difference is how distracted the fans are from the game. The modern-day handheld electronic devices seem to be more important than the game. Of course if they miss a play, they can catch the replay.

Football snacks
    If you are at a football game, you have to have something to eat. I saw two snacks from the past, Frito Pie and Valley Lemons. Frito Pie is a bag of Fritos sliced down the middle (leaving the ends closed). To this opened bag you add a laddle of chile con carne and voila - Frito Pie.
    I don't know how to describe the Valley Lemons, using genus and species. It is a thin-skinned large lemon, green or with a yellow tinge. It is not anywhere close to the yellow lemons. Its formal name is Meyer Lemon. It is not widely known because it does not ship well. Because of its popularity in Sout Texas, it is known as a Valley Lemon. From an internet site, I found this description:

"Valley Lemons are a lemon variety that you can sink your teeth into! No sour faces here! Valley Lemons have a greenish color and are thin skinned. Sweeter than their regular lemon cousins, they are excellent for a less tart lemonade, desserts or garnish."

So what does this have to do with football? Football season and the citrus harvest overlap. Someone came up with the idea of inserting a stick of peppermint candy into a Valley Lemon and sucking. The peppermint stick serves as a straw. After a while you eat the candy, peel the lemon and eat it.

 This is a cultural experience.

I left the game after I saw the band at half-time. I wondered if the traditions of the past continued. After half-time the home cheerleaders would go to the visitors' side and greet their cheer team and bring them to the home side to introduce them to the pep squad and band, "Pep Squad and Band this is cheeleader Becky." I somehow think that have 20 cheerleaders makes this tradition passe.

Band

   Watching the band also showed me how this organization has changed. In my day, there was one drum major and 8 twirlers. We did precision marching, playing marching music - marches. Today's band is just this side of a broadway show. There are three drum majors. There is a squad of flag/banner people. There are props and backdrops/ screnary. The sideline is filled with instruments that cannot be on the field - tympany drums, marimba, chimes, etc. The show is usually a themed production, Fiddler on the Roof, Pirates, Westside Story. The only constant is the quality of the playing.

(not a home game)

I will continue to look for my year book and share pictures of the good-ole-days.

Joe